There's been a ton of psychology and happiness and meaning books that have emerged in bookstores in the past few years. However, it is in my humble opinion that one of the best books written on this topic is Flow, by the psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. It was published in 1990 but 25 years later, I find its contents to be just as relevant to our lives now. I'm actually re-reading it; it's one of the only popular psychology books that I am reading for a second time. The quick summary of the book is as follows:
“Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s famous investigations of ‘optimal experience’ have revealed that what makes an experience genuinely satisfying is a state of consciousness called flow. During flow, people typically experience deep enjoyment, creativity, and a total involvement with life. ”
The way this book is laid out, it's more about a coherent story and underlying principles rather than descriptions of experiments. Calling it a psychology book understates its conclusions - this book borders on the edges of life philosophy, though in a very readable and relatable way. I'll be thinking about this book a lot more in future writing (some long form essays are planned) but in the meantime, I wanted to share this passage with you, as I think it will resonate with most readers:
“There is a consensus among psychologists that people develop their concept of who they are, and of what they want to achieve in life, according to a sequence of steps.
Each man or woman starts with a need to preserve the self, to keep the body and its basic goals from disintegrating. At this point the meaning of life is simple; it is tantamount to survival, comfort, and pleasure.
When the safety of the physical self is no longer in doubt, the person may expand the horizon of his or meaning system to embrace the values of a community - the family, the neighborhood, a religious or ethnic group. This step leads to a greater complexity of the self, even though it usually implies conformity to conventional norms and standards.
The next step in development involves reflective individualism. The person again turns inward, finding new grounds for authority and value within the self. He or she is no longer blindly conforming, but develops an autonomous conscience. At this point the main goal in life becomes the desire for growth, improvement, the actualization of potential.
The fourth step, which builds on all the previous ones, is a final turning away from the self, back toward an integration with other people and with universal values. In this final stage the extremely individualized person willingly merges his interests with those of a larger whole.
In this scenario building a complex meaning system seems to involve focusing attention alternately on the self and on the Other.
First, psychic energy is invested in the needs of the organism, and psychic order is equivalent to pleasure. When this level is temporarily achieved, and the person can begin to invest attention in the goals of a community, what is meaningful corresponds to group values - religion, patriotism, and the acceptance and respect of other people provide the parameters of inner order.
The next movement of the dialectic brings attention back to the self: having achieved a sense of belonging to a larger human system, the person now feels the challenge of discerning the limits of personal potential. This leads to attempts at self-actualization, to experimentation with different skills, different ideas and disciplines. At this stage enjoyment, rather than pleasure, becomes the main source of rewards. But because this phase involves becoming a seeker, the person may also encounter a midlife crisis, a career change, and an increasingly desperate straining against the limitations of individual capability.
From this point on the person is ready for the last shift in the redirection of energy: having discovered what one can and, more important, cannot do alone, the ultimate goal merges with a system larger than the person - a cause, an idea, a transcendental entity.
Not everyone moves through the stages of this spiral of ascending complexity. A few never have the opportunity to go beyond the first step. When the survival demands are so insistent that a person cannot devote much attention to anything else, he or she will not have enough psychic energy left to invest in the goals of the family or of the wider community. Self-interest alone will give meaning to life.
The majority of people are probably ensconced comfortably in the second stage of development, where the welfare of the family, or the company, the community, or the nation are the sources of meaning.
Many fewer reach the third level of reflective individualism, and only a precious few emerge once again to forge a unity with university values.
So these stages do not necessarily reflect what does happen, or what will happen; they characterize what can happen if a person is lucky and succeeds in controlling consciousness. ”