Being interesting or being interested

I finished reading through many snippets of advice in Katie Couric's book, The Best Advice I Ever Got.

This was an interesting story of mentorship. Jacqueline Novogratz, founder of Acumen Fund, met John Gardner while she was at Stanford. His illustrious career included positions as President Johnson's Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare, the founder of Common Cause, and the president of the Carnegie Foundation.

She learnt a key life lesson from him. She writes:

I was offered a "once-in-a-lifetime career opportunity," complete with an exalted title salary, and access to powerful people in the political realm.

When I asked John for his advice, he listened carefully and then looked me straight in the eye.

"I can see why you're tempted," he said, "and this job will certainly make you more interesting to others. But that's the wrong reason to accept a position. Instead, you should focus on being interested rather than interesting. Now, tell me how this job will truly give you a chance to serve others rather than a chance to serve your own career."

I didn't take the job.

And I've never forgotten John's sage advice to focus on being interested rather than interesting. Fifteen years later, I understand his wisdom: a focus on being interested in others is the very foundation for a life of meaning and purpose.

As with other elusive intangibles such as happiness and love, explicitly chasing these things is often futile. They come when we're least expecting them, at the moments when we are fully engaged with life beyond our own selves.