I've noticed a minor but intriguing difference between books about French culture and those about North American habits. When describing topics on human development, where the North American books emphasize self-improvement, French books tend to use cultivation. Both approaches aim to convey the same general process - that a person has changed from one state to another - but these terms signify different meanings and show differences in perception.
Cultivation connotes growth; to patiently let something flower; the current state is enough and is simply part of the growth process.
Self-improvement implies that something is broken and needs to be fixed; the current state is not enough.
The mind can be frighteningly powerful in weaving narratives and creating perceptions.
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I've recently had a few difficult conversations that indirectly touched on these themes of mental narratives and perceptions.
Many things happen to us that are not within our control. Unfairness at work, broken relationships, the general passage of things that compose our lives. From these, we experience the full extent of negative emotions - ones that should not be suppressed or dismissed - but nevertheless are difficult to face.
We expect children to be naïve and idealistic. We expect adults to shed their idealism and become more cynical.
But is it possible to see this transition differently, the life aging process? Is it about our perception - cultivation or self-improvement?
When we don't have much else, we have the choice of what we do in response to things that happens to us; we can choose how to interpret these events, what meaning we give to them, and how they will shape who we become.
When we are brought in front of the mirror, will we see cynicism, jadedness, bitterness, or is it possible to see the reflections of maturity, acceptance, complexity?
David Foster Wallace's commencement address This is Water is a beautifully raw examination on the difficulty of choosing our perceptions and reactions to the daily things that happen to us.
This isn't easy, but this isn't impossible.
To derive meaning from our experiences - cynicism or life learning? It can be either, that's our choice.