The domain of philosophy can be daunting to those new to the field. So many names, so many ideas, so many self-referential definitions. While I am not ready for the more verbose and complicated philosophers, I am finding a kind teacher in Bertrand Russell (1872-1970). He's one of the more (relatively) modern philosophers and wrote on topics that most people can relate to, in a style that is easy to comprehend and interesting to follow.
I first encountered Bertrand Russell's work when I read his essay, In Praise of Idleness, an excellent read and one that I highly recommend.
Wanting to learn more about his work, I found a copy of The Basic Writings of Bertrand Russell, a 700+ page volume of some of his best essays.
From his piece, The Place of Sex Among Human Values, is an intriguing passage to ponder:
"A man who is healthy in mind and body will not have his interests thus concentrated upon himself. He will look out upon the world and find in it objects that seem to him worthy of his attention.
Absorption in self is not, as some have supposed, the natural condition of unregenerate man. It is a disease brought on, almost always, by some thwarting of natural impulses.
The voluptuary who gloats over thoughts of sexual gratification is in general the result of some kind of deprivation, just as the man who hoards food is usually a man who has lived through a famine or a period of destitution.
Healthy, outward-looking men and women are not to be produced by the thwarting of natural impulse, but by the equal and balanced development of all the impulses essential to a happy life."
When we are deprived of something, we turn inward and become obsessed with it.
The mind can be a strange, wondrous, fearful thing. It has the ability to obsess and to construct entire worlds. Tell it not to think about cookies and it will pretty much only think about cookies.
It's common to hear of diets that completely cut out certain foods. It's also common to hear that a single lapse leads to bingeing on the forbidden food; if you've slipped up and had that one cookie, might as well have five.
Sometimes at night I'll develop a craving for pasta. Ignoring this craving, I'll unhappily resign myself to eating cherries instead. This usually does not help. Feeling unsatisfied, I'll remain obsessed about pasta until I give up and end up making an alarming amount of it, and then feeling guilty, I'll eat all of it too quickly, as though somehow eating it faster will make it vanish better. Eating too much pasta too quickly sometimes makes me feel ill. If I had allowed myself some small amount of what I craved, I might have taken my time with it and only eaten to the point of satisfaction, not to the point of discomfort. Rather than denying life's pleasures, perhaps we are better off fully enjoying them in moderate doses. Wine, cheese, chocolate, bread - consume them all, just not too much.
As Bertrand Russell said, when we are deprived of basic human pleasures, we turn inwards, fixate on our own wants, and become selfish. When our own needs are met, we can instead turn outwards, and focus on things worthier of our attention.